Nobody's Watching 

 

 

FLYING COLORS

It’s taken me a long time to see

What’s beneath and between

I still can’t tell when danger may come

I’m not above push comes to shove  

 

The object was lost in no time at all

The meaning was fleeting

If I slow down and watch a bullet’s path

One might enter and exit me

I can’t take that risk, I wanna live

 

I’m the blue under the flame

I’m the red outside the vein

Let it in, let it be seen

I’m the fear in everything

 

It’s a battle tooth and nail

when there is hell outside my door

I’ll defend my right when it’s compromised

It’s the only way I know

 

I only will return with flying colors

 

 

 

MOTHERS

It's coming down

They say this is the storm of centuries

Come together, help each other please

And take cover, find shelter

 

The camera's off

No one will see my act of charity

I'll share the awning

but what's in it for me, well?

 

Mothers in the rain

Do you think they're keeping score

or doing it for the fame?

Mothers in the rain

They're just trying to keep their babies warm

 

Me, who I am when no one's watching me

Isn't always who I want to be

And you, the rain is soaking

through your baby's shoes

So I'll do anything you ask me to

As long as there is proof that I can claim

and attach it to my name

 

I don't expect the world to congratulate me

But I need something

I don't expect the gods to see every deed

But I need something

I want everyone to see my work and love me

I expect the rules to bend a little

Even in rain I want something to gain

I’m expecting
 

 

 

WHO’S GONNA STOP US

You look familiar yeah I've seen you before

I thought I knew you when you walked in the door

You're so magnetic yeah you push and you pull

And you make everybody comfortable

I see how you use your charm

There's something wrong

 

You made me nervous when you sat on the floor

and blocked the exit, no one noticed at all

You shared your simple wisdom

Now you're adored

While you made everybody comfortable

I saw that you changed the lock, you devil

It's the only way out

 

It's so easy that I can't believe they don't see the plan

You put the beauty in the front

and you control from the back

I wanna hate you but only because you beat me to it

Maybe I'll join you, I've got ideas too

 

You look at me as if you already knew

I’m only here because I’m doing it too

We speak no words but we are obvious kin

Let’s teach them how to build a pyramid

Tell them if they keep it up, they can reach the top

 

It's so easy that I can't believe they still don't see it

We took their trust and took their money

and they're still believers

I wanna hate us but only because we're so good at it

We should stop but who's gonna stop us?

 

I used to try to be decent and kind

But time after time I would get eaten alive


 

 

NOBODY’S WATCHING

Animals are wild, no matter the breed

You can see it in their eyes, they're taking it in

Before you have the chance to know where you stand

You're between a mom and lamb

She's sinking her teeth in

 

Like nobody's watching

 

People are the same, there's hunters and prey

There's rules to the game

You can win for a day

I'm old enough to know it all comes around

Cause the war is in between

We're taking ourselves down

 

Like nobody's watching

 

Never did I think that this could be me

I'm stealing heavily from the powers that be

It's not personal this time, I'm here to survive

So I smile and we shake, then I sharpen my blade

 

I'll take a little off the top if no one's paying attention

 

I made it to the top but don’t know when to stop

When I take, I take a lot


 

 

ALL ABOARD

I took the train until the end

to get a new perspective

But turned away  

I slowly peeked between my hands

I saw a hungry man

I can’t look him in the eye, I turned away

 

I could fall on my head just to push out the red

It feels good to bleed, who would agree?

When it’s only temporary

At least for me it’s temporary

 

I took the train back to my home

I showed the wound to everyone

And they said “you’re a saint”

To learn the shape of right and wrong

It takes them twice as long

Come with me and I’ll show you power

Come with me and I’ll show you how  

 

Are you ready to open that door?

Here we go, all aboard

 

 

 

LOVE AND PRESSURE

Loosen up, you’re uptight

Shake it off, you’ll be alright

It was never meant to be

 

Inside the pressure’s so high

Too hung up to even know why

Come and talk to me

 

The love and pressures in the world we know

Are complicated and uncomfortable

Your peace of mind is gonna start to fade

Loosen up before it slips away

 

Loosen up, you’re uptight

Shake it off, you’ll be alright

Loosen up, you’re uptight

It’s 5 o’clock, go catch the sunrise

 

I know it’s been awhile

Don’t give up before you try

 

I can sleep for days too

I know how to move and how to look

So they don’t ask me much

 

Don’t think that you’re fooling

The ones who do it too, we’re here to help

You gotta loosen up to help me help you



 

EASTERN COMFORT

Three soldiers guard a barricade

I saw the tall one double-take

Explosions at the southern gate

There was a home there yesterday

 

When I take a drink, somehow I lose my way

There's something in the water

It makes me wanna call for help, I'm in need

I'm sentenced to play the fool

There's something in the water

 

Nearby an agent in plain clothes

Watches the camera in my phone

They cut my food and watch me drink

I'd never say I'm suffering

 

When I take a drink

Somehow I lose my way

There’s something in the water

It makes me wanna call for help, I’m in need

Your blessings won't save us now

There’s something in the water

 

Never mind what you've given up

They'll tell you when you've had enough

Nothing left and it's just begun

They'll tell you when you've had enough

 


 

TRAPPING SEASON   

I set a trap out in the woods

I didn’t know what I would catch

I set it out just after lunch

And before dark I heard a snap

 

The scream it lead me to the trap

The thing was struggling on it’s back

I saw a face I didn’t recognize

Took it to the butcher

Proudly brought back dinner

 

I set a trap out in the woods

I didn’t know what I would catch

I set it out when no one looked

They think I fearlessly attack

 

The scream it lead me to the trap

The thing was asking for a hand

I saw it’s face, it looked a lot like mine

Glad I brought my butcher 

Still came back with dinner

 

I set a trap out in the woods

Not knowing what I’m gonna catch

I set it out because I could

No one’s gonna question my intentions 

Though they should

 

It could be you we’re eating next

If they caught me I’d confess

Til then I’ll keep setting traps

 

 

 

EXIT SONG

To exit in the night

A timely way to say goodbye

It should come as no surprise

Darkness has a way of shedding light

It guides the panic, rise and fall and go

We would surely miss it if it never came at all

 

To exit in the night

A timely way to say goodbye


 

 

DESPERATE TIMES  

Here we are at the end

Don’t know where to begin

After all of this time

All the things I denied   

Here I hold up my hands

What is there to defend?

I'm just human I guess

Nothing more, nothing less

 

I would spy, I would preach

I would lie through my teeth

It's so easy to take, I got carried away

I climbed to the top and I liked what I saw

It went to my head

Nothing more, nothing less

 

I can understand a broken promise

I can understand it well

Show me mercy, show me understanding

I know I was the enemy but I want to reconcile

Humankind is in a desperate time

 

So I smile and we shake

Maybe tell you my name

I’ve got a family of 5

I'm just here to survive

Would I do it again?

Well wouldn't you if it meant

keeping love at your chest?

Nothing more, nothing less

 

 

terror (EP) 

 

 

TERROR

I work all week and the money's good

I like to drink, I think it's in my blood

What I fear - I hold it in

But let it show over and over again

 

I'm getting tired but I can say I raised a family

I think they're safe

Who we are will never change

We get along day after day after day

 

Terror in the world I know

Never in a place I love could we be us

Terror if I say I knew

Tell me how you want to lose, I'll let you choose

 

I read the paper, I see you there

Bless your children, just don't come here

How can I make it very clear?

It's getting worse year after year after year

 

You're very different, you understand?

I want to like you - just not that bad

Tthis is how I spend my time

Making sure you stay on your side of the line

 

Terror in the world I know

I don't think I'll let it go

Cause what if what they say is true?

I'll have to put the blame on you

I don't have the time to learn

You have to take my word

 

Maybe when the kids are grown

We can take that trip to Rome

See the world beyond our home

That is.. if we pay our loans

They're overgrown

I'm tired and it's dangerous enough here


 

 

MORE THAN ONE WAY

I'm surrounded or so it feels

It's haunting and it's real

I've heard all the stories and they're all true

 

I found trouble on my street

It shoots a smile as it blinds me

Threatened the neighbors with a countdown

3 2 1 hold your peace, you are done

 

Here it comes, a change of guard

Once again we're in the dark

Bold lies to hide behind

There's more than one way to get high

 

Do all of the contracts offend you?

Where do you think we will go to?

The bank and the mayor commend you

 

So what if I dare take my chances?

What if the truth leaves me stranded?

Will I be the lucky one when they countdown

3 2 1 hold your peace, you are done


 

 

HALLOWEEN IN NOVEMBER

I see the line

I watch the movement that is made

I pay attention, I'm awake

 

I watch the sky

I see the shifting of the tide

I know the rules, the place and time

 

Who hears the words I'm hiding?

Who knows the corners of my mind?

When I listen it's too loud

When I speak there is no sound

 

I see the line

I watch it fade away

I enjoy the magic, escape and illusion

 

If I could scream or even speak at all

Would you think I'm being critical?

It's in my reach, I hear it's wonderful

I feel the need, oh god it's coming on

 

 

THE LANGUAGE I SPEAK

Hello it's been a long time

I'll bring you up to speed

I have now traveled so far

To find the language I speak

 

Sometimes I understand it

Sometimes it's lost on me

I must continue moving

To find the language I speak

 

Lately I float above it

The panic that's underneath

The smile that's on the surface

I've become a machine

 

So I flew to outer space

I saw how they talk and think

I narrowly left with my life

But now I know what I need

 

I learned new ways to bargain

I learned new ways to dream

Who in the end will love me?

Love me in the language I speak

 

So long it's been a pleasure

I must be on my way

Honest to god I'll visit

If I remember your name

 

But likely I won't return here

There's more out there for me

If only in my imagination

There's a language I speak

 

 

under  the influence 

 

 

OPEN WATER

It’s not like I said it’s okay but I’ve been a little fake

I’m holding myself like a brick upon a still lake

I’m pretty round and I wouldn’t drown

I didn’t know I could breathe when I am faced-down

 

It’s not like I said it’s okay but I like to stay away

Sight out of mind is fine, I don’t like to make waves

In the shallow end, I never learned to swim

I’ll get the courage one day when I am faced-down in open water

 

It’s not like I said it’s okay, it’s not like it’s just a game

It wouldn’t ruin the day to find that

 

I’m faced-down in open water never long enough

Hold me down in open water, it gives me such a rush

I’m holding onto weakness only as a ploy

Nothing’s ever gonna change the way I feel when I destroy



 

YOUR VERSION OF ME

Too new to tell if you compare

Inflated now but losing air

You make me dream so colorful

My blood my head, the blue the red

 

I cheat, I blame, I piss away

Here you stay, what to make

Sing to me your sweetest song

The one for me, so personal

 

Take my hand and take my name

Take it all, it's all the same

I lose it mostly and I hide the rest

Don't analyze cause if we're being honest

I prefer your version of me

 

I must be frank, I can't contain

I'm happier under your reign

So sing to me just like before

When you were mine and I was yours



 

NO MATTER

When I close my eyes I don’t always fall asleep

Dampening the mind is a fundamental need

 

Somewhere in a trance hides a curiosity

Cloudy at a glance though it lives inside of me

 

Senseless to hope for a life so unique

There’s no rush to end when the cycles repeat

 

Deeper down the path I can function in a dream

I push away the clouds, I’m the sole authority

 

Fools and their fables give moments of peace

No end or beginning, cycles they keep on repeating

 

When I’m at the door, I can show you what I know

And everything I don’t

 

Fleeting and painful, a love that is sweet

No end or beginning, cycles they keep on repeating

 

When I close my eyes, there’s a lot of work to do

I get sleepy too



 

UNDER THE INFLUENCE

Sunday on the clock, finished but nonstop

Keep it up, dangerous, hold me under

No one ever feared a light so dim or broke a little skin

What to do?

 

Grin and then I grin, imitation

Makes me feel a lunatic, I’m wise to wonder

Even when I had a steady grip

You slipped and then I slipped

What to do?

 

Standing on a table, suddenly I see it all

It’s a lonely world, I just do my work

It’s a lonely world, I don’t want to be hurt

 

Trust me, I’m a decent animal

You have to tell me when I’m full

Please believe me, I’m a decent animal

I just can’t do all that I’m told

 

You may choose between yourself and me

who will destroy you?


 

 

SO LONG

You deserve a song so long it plays behind the hurt

Beyond the tears, beyond the courtesy of elementary melodies

Chord progressions much like these

 

To love and be loved

Who’d have thought it’d be so mysterious?

It would be painful without bruises and subject to who chooses

to pull the plug and hope that no one sinks

 

You deserve a song so long it plays beyond the fade

Beyond the place where all our memories repeat into eternity

Preserving them so bittersweet, for better or worse

 

What’s the harm in a little disillusion?

A little rosy hue and a drink to see it through

To separate my logic from my ways

 

I can and I will move on

You can and you will move on

 

You deserve a song so long

Crafted with hands of love and capability

I’ll retire, I’ll keep it brief

Admiring you lovingly, so long



 

WHEN I SEE COLOR

Do you ever put something on a list just to check it off?

Simple pleasures like decent weather

Do you ever set alarms in your sleep so you don't have to dream?

Who would do such a silly thing?

 

I'm a character in black and white

I see color and I feel so shy

Break my silence but don't rush me

 

Do you ever entertain someone new and in a day or two

Take your chances and endure glances?

Do you ever have it all in your palm and think that's what you want?

Quite romantic but I resent it



 

SUPERSTAR

Help me I’m a superstar

Narrowly I’ve missed the mark

Drifting, fading, no regard

I’ve slipped into a cycle

 

Help me please I’ve come so close

I’m older now, been down that road

Something keeps me in it’s hold

I’ve slipped into a cycle

 

Show me all the trouble that you find

Show me how to thrive and take your time

 

I know it’s more than just a phase

It’s written in my name

I want someone to blame

I know it’s more than just today

It’s a problem that I face

I want someone to blame

 

Show me all the awfulness that hides in me

I’ve been living in a toxic dream

Show me all the love that I so desperately need

All in all I’m ordinary

 

It’s strange how sun and death move together

It’s strange how much I want this mood to linger



 

OVERCAST WALTZ

If the time was right I would take you home

It would be so nice, we could be alone

But we're not alone

You and I have our demons we can't control

But we try with our vices tonight

 

In a perfect world I'd be a better girl

I would mind my words and have hair that curls

But it's not that world

It's becoming clearer with every look, every glance in the mirror

You're pushing me further from you

 

Take back your precious time

It's taking over mine

I'm too blind to recognize so many things

Take it back for me

 

If I only knew what I meant to you

Maybe I'd be true, would not question you

That's hard to do

It's becoming clearer that I'm abused by the things that I fear

I'm pushing you further from me

 

All that's left are silhouettes and shadows on the wall

Stale ashes fill the glasses on the wooden floor

Reminds me of a time when we would smoke indoors

Sleeping just enough to understand what burns, understand what pain is

I understand what pain is



 

NEW HEAVEN

Careful what you seek in strangers

I do believe in danger

Poison in the hand that you hold in command

Now don’t you feel a little thrill?

 

Portrait of a man, an island

Strange though how he speaks so migrant

Long before the split, the pieces used to fit

That doesn’t mean there’s harmony

How could this be so wrong for me?

 

I know and you know the same

Heavens await for only those who want to change

I know and you know the same

Heavens await for only those who want to pray

 

For only heavens sake, I’ll pray